Personally, I get tired of hearing people poo-pah about how Memorial Day isn’t about having a three day weekend or a BBQ, and about how it’s supposed to be in solemn remembrance of those that died for our freedoms.
As a Marine Grunt who spent six years wanted nothing more than to go kill people for my country, I can tell you exactly what -I- would want on Memorial Day if I got waxed overseas.
I’d want my wife in a skimpy bikini, sipping a drink by a pool, with our kids laughing and splashing each other while hot dogs and burgers sizzle on the grill.
Because that’s America in a nutshell. It’s hot women, cold pool water, kids having fun, and processed meat pressed into sausage shapes being stuffed down the gullet with a beer.
That’s the freedoms I’d fight, die, and certainly kill thousands of totalitarian government employees for.
And anyone who would deny that, and force my family to go be miserable standing around my grave… Well, you suck. Stop guilt tripping people into having a bad time. Memorial Day doesn’t have to be a somber, miserable affair of sadness.
Because, personally, I ain’t getting waxed defending the rights of up-tight Americans to bash others for enjoying the freedoms our dead wish they could enjoy. If you could snap your fingers and bring back all the dead veterans, I bet you money they’ve no interest in standing around mourning for each other. They’d be pounding beers, smoking cigars, and oogling hot American womens. (Cause we’re all a bunch of knuckle draggers.)
I’m not knocking those who go to the places like Arlington to see the hundreds of thousands of waving flags and rows of headstones laid out in perfect military precision. That’s awesome. I want to do it one day. The only thing cooler than the picture I described earlier would be to visit Arlington Cemetery on Memorial Day.
But people can remember and honor the sacrifices of our glorious dead by celebrating the life and freedoms that they died protecting.
Now put a bikini on and have a good time.
Except you dudes. No one wants to see that.