March 2021 Update Post

Other than the contract being signed on my sequel to the ‘Internationally Reviewed and Loved’ West of Prehistoric, it’s been a fairly uneventful month so far in personal terms.

The only notable exception is that we decided to add another dog to our family. This one is a brindle Bull Mastiff as a surprise gift for my Daughter’s birthday. (Every Princess needs a ferocious slobbery guard dog.)

We pick her up Easter weekend, so expect more pictures to follow next month.

But these are the latest pictures of her, sent from the breeders.

She’s adorable, and the runt of the litter so we are hoping she’ll stay around 100 pounds when fully grown. I know that sounds like a big dog, but our Bear, a English Mastiff, is 180 pounds. So to us, it SEEMS like we are getting a moderate sized dog.

The Wife and I have settled on the name ‘Honey’, because it goes with ‘Bear’ and if we leave it up to our soon to be five year old daughter, it’d be either Glitter Heart or Flower Petal. And I’m not even joking, those are the two names she has picked out when she told us she wanted a pug.

Yes, our daughter wanted a Pug… but we are getting her a Bull Mastiff instead… (Which was her third choice, I think Poodle was her second choice…)

I stole the below picture from Pinterest, but it shows how Pugs and Bull Mastiffs are -kind- of the same… Got the same mushed face at least.

I looked for a pug, honest. The closest puppies I found were outside of Pittsburg, which is over a 7 hour drive for us and that ain’t happening. I told the breeders they needed to jack up their prices since they had the only pug puppies on the entire East Coast.

And it’s kind of fascinating how breeds ebb and flow in popularity. I found a ton of English Mastiff puppies, about an equal number of Labradoodles, and a bunch of pit bull puppies. Scattered in that were other breeds, but I saw only one ad for Labradors. Which is odd, given how popular of a breed they are. And only one ad for Bull Mastiffs, of which only one puppy remained when I contacted them.

So, kind of weird.

In other news, my lovely Wife is about to turn 40. And she still looks super amazing and hot. And I’m so incredibly lucky to have her. She’s gonna be a really hot grandma one day.

This is my phones wallpaper of her, a picture I snuck while she was getting ready for us to go out to eat at the beach.

The whole COVID thing makes enjoying her 40th kind of a pain. Instead of doing a YUGE party like she deserves, we’re gonna be low key instead… by taking her out to eat at her favorite Mexican restaurant. (Who doesn’t even do the embarrassing birthday singing and sombrero anymore!)

And I got her a bunch of ‘Happy 21st Birthday’ plates, cups, tiara, sash, etc so she doesn’t feel so bad about hitting the big Four Oh.

Hope everyone had a fantastic March. Spring is here, let’s ride into it with loving arms, open hearts, and smoking gun barrels.

Author: Erik 'Tracer' Testerman

Erik Testerman is a Marine Corps grunt, a competitive shooter, and an admirer of fine arms and armaments. He lives in the mountains of North Carolina with his lovely wife, two rambunctious children, and a slobbery English Mastiff. To learn more about Erik Testerman and read samples of his work, visit

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