Remember, this Halloween you can’t be anything but a white male.

Because the left and stupid people playing victim need something to whine about, and cultural appropriation is a grave and serious offense to someone, somewhere because… something.

So let’s go over some popular costumes and what it takes to wear them:

  1. You can’t be a mummy unless you are an Egyptian.
  2. You can’t be Dracula unless you’re Transylvanian.
  3. You can’t be an Indian unless you’re an Indian. (Feather or Dot has to be Feather or Dot – NO SWAPPING!) *If you are 1/1024th Native American, you may disregard this.
  4. You can’t be Frankenstein unless you’re German.
  5. You can’t be a Ghost unless you are dead.
  6. You can’t be Darth Vader unless you are from Tatooine OR have proof that you can use the force.
  7. You can’t be an Alien unless you’re from another planet.
  8. You can’t be a Princess unless you are have royal blood.
  9. You can’t be Mickey Mouse unless you are from Disneyland.
  10. You can’t be a Clown unless you’ve gone to Clown School.
  11. You can’t be a Pirate unless you’ve got booty. (LOL)
  12. You can’t dress like you’re in the 1980’s unless you actually PARTIED during the 1980’s.
  13. You can’t be Daenary’s unless you are true Targaryen.
  14. You can’t be Mario unless you can eat lots of mushrooms.
  15. You can’t be a Storm Trooper unless you can’t shoot anything.
  16. You can’t be the Devil unless you’re from hell.
  17. You can’t be Chucky unless you are a possessed doll.
  18. You can’t be the Joker, because only Heath Ledger can pull it off.
  19. You can’t be Pennywise unless you’ve snorted a half pound of cocaine before writing the book and your name begins with Stephen and ends with King.
  20. You can’t be Wonder Woman unless you’re an Amazonian with the blood of Zeus in your veins.

Please check your privilege at the door before you let your kids have fun and eat candy. Because they could be inadvertently mocking someone else’s heritage. And that FEELS wrong.

But if you want to be the supreme evil, the worst of the worst, the most hated and despised creature on the planet, responsible for all hate and suffering and kicked puppies – You can be a white male.

Edit – Oh Look, Don Lemon put in such eloquent words.

“We have to stop demonizing people and realize the biggest terror threat in this country is white men, most of them radicalized to the right. And we have to start doing something about them. There is no travel ban on them. There is no ban on — they had the Muslim ban. There is no white guy ban. So, what do we do about that?” (link)


Everyone dress up as a white man this year! Terrorize the Trunk or Treats with your scary-ness!

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