Terminator: Dark Fate is the suck.

Saw it, bleh…

James Cameron has failed us greatly.

Personally, I enjoyed Terminator: Genesys when it came out. That’s the only one I thought worth watching since the nearly perfect T2: Judgement Day. I thought it was fantastic and that Emilia Clarke made a terrific Sarah Connor. But it did poorly at the box office, and the reboot failed to take off so it died a sad box office death.

Shame.

But James Cameron comes along, picks up the mantle a few years later, and instead of giving us something comparable with T2, he gives us a big glop of woke, feminist mayonnaise.

Needlessly.

Because Sarah Connor is an iconic heroine. She’s the living embodiment of woman badassdom. She may have started slinging ice cream in a cafe, but once her unborn son’s life was at stake and the weight of humanity resting on her shoulders, she got buff, got armed, and proactively started seeking out ways to protect her son and humanity.

Awesome.

Then came along this T:6 movie which is supposed to be T:3 replacing the earlier horrible T:3 with the wimpy John Connor played by Nick Stahl. (Mr. “Oh look at me, I carry a paintball gun even though human cyborgs from the future tried to kill my mom and me.) So it’s a confusing mess because they just keep rebooting the franchise over and over. -sigh-

But Dark Fate. Yeah, according to it’s Director, Tim Miller:

“If you’re at all enlightened, she’ll play like gangbusters. If you’re a closet misogynist, she’ll scare the f*** out of you, because she’s tough and strong but very feminine,” Miller said. “We did not trade certain gender traits for others; she’s just very strong, and that frightens some dudes. You can see online the responses to some of the early sh** that’s out there, trolls on the internet. I don’t give a f***.” Source

Right, well I reckon all the knuckle dragging, woman despising, Internet Trolls stayed at home because it was ‘so scary’, so it’s a colossal flop and gonna lose the studio around $100 million.

Where to begin the plot spoilingness?

Oh I know…

Who told James Cameron it was a great idea to kill off a young John Connor in the first two minutes of the movie?

In today’s woke and inclusive Hollywood, we can’t have a MAN SAVING THE WORLD. We need a new heroine, a woman whose not giving birth to the savior… lame plot twist, she is the savior. GASP! And she gives a terrible speech about it.

Oh, and she’s Hispanic. So they sneak across American’s border into the EVIL BORDER PATROL’s CLUTCHES. Oh my!

And Legion? Legion… that’s the new Skynet. Because Skynet was defeated. Nevermind that Skynet has one of the most iconic villain names ever – let’s make something new up. A new threat, because humanity never learns. (Well, that’s believable, but still lame.)

And let’s send a female psuedo-super warrior back in time. No chauvinistic protectorate Kyle Reese to impregnate the weak and helpless Sarah Connor! But, even though she looks like she weighs a buck-ten, let’s augment her and make her super strong. Except she needs an insulin syringe every couple of plot points to make it seem like she has a weakness.

But we get Linda Hamilton! YAY! This should save the franchise!

Nope.

She’s a haggard alcoholic… because it’s been 28 years since she melted Arnold into a vat of molten metal. And she’s pissed, probably because her son was killed in the first two minutes for Hollywood’s wokeness that loves destroying beloved male heroes like Luke Skywalker and James Bond. (Oh haven’t you heard? I envy you. The new Bond movie is going to suck.)

But she spent the past two decades, off screen, killing Terminators that keep getting sent back in time by the defeated Skynet. (I know, weird, dumb, lame, etc.) So now, of course, she just drinks and blows things up and pretty much just sucks. But she’s so good at killing things, she’s really surprised when the new Legion sent Terminator is really hard to kill and can split into two Terminators. (The math still doesn’t add up though, three heroines and two male shaped Terminators… I thought women were the greater sex?)

Anyways. She just swears a bunch and has trust issues.

So, Arhhhnold!

We get him at least. Yeah, apparently a future killing machine sent back in time to kill John Connor becomes ‘Carl The Drape Salesman’ after his mission is finished. If you haven’t seen the movie and just read that, you’d think I made it up. Nope. It’s true. A Terminator becomes a Drape Salesman after completing its mission.

Never mind that it’s enemy is Humanity, and somewhere in it’s core functions should be something like:

  1. Kill John Connor.
  2. KILL EVERYONE LIVING. (Like go steal a nuke or something…)

At least in T:3 the Terminator had a hit list of Human’s that needed to be wiped out.

Anyways, I shouldn’t bash movies, or directors, because who knows – maybe Tim Miller and James Cameron will want to do a movie about my books. (That’d be okay. I’ll let you for enough monies.)

But I’m thinking maybe old school and get John Milius, the director of Red Dawn, Conan, Wind and the Lion, Uncommon Valor, etc.

At any rate, not every movie can be a winner, and this one ain’t a winner.

Published by 'Tracer' Testerman

"Witty. Humorous. Slightly obnoxious."

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